It's a crime! (Or a mystery…)

The Apprentice – Week 5, Episode 6

‘… If it sounds too good to be true in terms of price then it probably is …’


Oh boy, was this one of the most inspired and hence hardest tasks we have yet seen on The Apprentice.  If you watched ‘You’re Fired’ later you’ll know that the man with the rubbish business who gave the briefing to the candidates is an ex-banker with an MBA: neither of which he likes to draw attention to at the workplace.  But oh, the subtleties of such a business where items can be salvaged.  There’s providing a clearance at a cost for service.  There’s doing it for free knowing that some items can be salvaged at an ongoing revenue return.  And then there’s the margin end of the business…  (Watch the programme for an explanation of that last one as I’m not sure I ‘got it’.  But then, our candidates were not always 100% on the ‘got it’ front either, which led to some dramatic viewing.)  Oh, I forgot one other aspect to this: being screwed by builders. But that’s the business they’re in, innit?

At the start Natasha claimed that as she’d worked in property and construction for a few years, she’d be ‘yeah … good at this’, a comment to be later thrown back at her like a brick into a skip. Well she was in the recruitment business and it’s not quite the same is it?

Zoë bludgeoned her way in as team leader to possibly regret it later – she didn’t ‘get it’ and spent some time in tears when she realised this and that she’d messed up their tenders as a result.  Or was it the fact that the-one-Zoë-hates-and-would-like-to-write-off Susie, had in fact ‘got it’ and made her look a right pile of decaying, discarded bits?  And say what you like about Glenn – I am not a fan either – but he did rally the troops when Zoë was clutching her Kleenex.  (He’s a good number two, if a hell of an arrogant number one in a team.)

On the other team, Helen led with the finesse of a ballet dancer in comparison, even if the costumes worn were more bin bag meets Michelin man than Chanel with fluorescence.  And they took risks!  In low-balling on tenders Logic won the work and found the means to make it all pay off.

At the end, it was another close one, with a handful of pounds in it.  Zoë’s team made a remarkable recovery, but Helen’s team pipped them at the post.  This was the first task for which darling Tom the inventor found himself on the winning team.  Yes!  I am not sure who celebrated more.  Go Tom!

Rubbish2 In the boardroom, Zoë brought back Edna and Susie, and let’s look at the history before we go any further.  In the first week Susie crossed swords with Edna the dictator.  That died down and we didn’t see much of Edna the dictator and glove-wearer thereafter.  More recently, Susie and Zoë crossed swords over the beauty products when Zoë was adamant that Susie had made her bed and so should lie in it due to her estimates of sales.  Susie’s face said it all in the boardroom on that occasion: total and utter anger.  So this week, in the boardroom we had, from the left: nemesis 1; nemesis 2; nemesis 3.

Rubbish3 And you can grade your nemeses too.  If the pic above was the starting point, look how it developed in the board room.  The body language seemed to indicate that Zoë thought Edna someone to be indifferent about, with Susie definitely the-one-Zoë-hates-and-would-like-to-write-off.  As it transpired, Edna’s jump-on-the-boat-when-praise-is-around approach did for her.  Zoë had a lucky escape and lives for another opportunity to thrash Susie in the future, unless Susie starts to make her voice heard (when talking sense).

Was Edna the right one to go?  Oh yes.  But a double firing including Zoë would have been on the sweets this week too.  Unfortunately Lord Sacch was on too sweet a form to deliver it and gave the apologising Zoë a break.  Anyone else think that Lord Sacch was waiting for this moment to despatch Edna?  It was all a bit contrived with the reference to her CV.

Biggest annoyances of the week:

  • Natasha for her ongoing gesticulation with every word.  Can she keep her hands to herself just once?
  • Melody for the way she says everything.  (You want to shut her up; it’s all management text book speak with some flowery creative input leading to a bouquet of vomit for the viewer.)
  • The builder with the front garden full of dross who added to it between loads.  We all love to hate him and all those he represents, yes?  We all deserve the name of his company…
  • Zoë for being an absolute cow yet again.  (We can quickly forget the tears…)

And the quiet star still twinkling, possibly the dark horse:

  • Tom the inventor.

Curve ball super-champ-in-the-making and thus one to watch:

  • Helen.

2 comments on “The Apprentice – Week 5, Episode 6

  1. Candy
    June 11, 2011

    Why does Zoe picking out the bargain basement beautician bimbo’s failings make her a cow?

  2. crimeficreader
    June 11, 2011

    I didn’t say it was her noting of Susie’s weaknesses, did I? For clarification, I refer to her manner of delivery. I doubt she is pleasant to work with. Plenty of them about, sadly.

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This entry was posted on June 11, 2011 by in Apprentice2011.